I Hate Butternut Squash: I think it’s Classless and Deserves To Lose
Butternut squash, I think you're classless!
BYU Quarterback Max Hall hates Utah. I, in a similar fashion, hate butternut squash. He and I share a distaste for something, and we’re not afraid to share it!
But what’s in a name? Or an epithet for that matter? That which we call hate by any other name would…probably be no big deal. Taken a step further, hate in one context is not nearly as hateful as in an another. You can hate broccoli, the DMV and herpes, and you’ll have a lot of people agreeing with you; and those who don’t will not even take notice, must less take offense (however, you’ll clearly notice the people who like herpes, because they’re just plain nasty).
Mention you hate a person, like Taylor Swift because we all know Beyoncé’s the one who actually made the greatest video of all time, and people will tell you to settle down, but will still not fuss too much.
But, tell people you hate Jews, Muslims, Mormons or the Irish, and not only will people be grossly offended, you will quickly lose a lot of friends and acquaintances and will likely end up on a police watch list. That’s the kind of hater everyone loves to hate.
So where does Max Hall’s hate for the University of Utah rank?
Given how he said it and when he said it, it’s probably up there with my 7-year old’s hatred for broccoli. Or your hatred for being rear ended in your car. It’s the kind of hate you can actually agree with, or if you don’t agree you don’t care enough to voice disagreement (you have to admit, though, that getting rear ended sucks).
Every Utah fan who heard Max Hall’s post-game comments secretly thought, “No kidding you hate Utah. I’m still sporting my ‘Honk If You Intercepted Max Hall’ bumper sticker!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!” And you’re laughing all the way to house to watch your 2008 Sugar Bowl season-in-review DVD…again.
So, I’d recommend we don’t inflame the soundbite by describing it as a “spew of hatred” as Lee Benson did in the Deseret Morning News or saying it was “thunder” like Gordon Monson did in the Salt Lake Tribune. Breaking news: Max Hall hates Utah. Later on tonight’s newscast: Recent studies show that getting worms sucks. Back after this break!
But wait, what is this? Was this not the first spew of hatred in a college football rivalry? See below!
Breaking News: Morgan Scalley hates BYU right back. I remember watching Morgan Scalley say he hated those BYU pricks in this pre-game speech prior to the 2004 BYU-Utah game that was televised on ESPN. I thought, “Of course you hate BYU. When they go undefeated, they get a national championship. When you go undefeated, you get…Pitt, and are expressly denied the opportunity to play for a national championship. OK, back to my ’84 DVD!”
So here me now: I hate butternut squash, but will not issue a press-release apology for it!
